Lost Teammates…..

I was fortunate to have been on quite a few teams in my soccer career. Every level from youth to pro.  My soccer journey and of course many stories are in a future book release. But this week I am thinking about lost teammates (and coaches).  Lost, as in have already passed away.  Too many of them.  Life can be brutally random.  Some, stricken by cancer, others felled in an unfortunate accident.  Once, not many years before, some of my teammates were star professional athletes.  World Cup Winner Bernd Holzenbein.  A special player in Stan Stamenkovic.  Gone way to early and quite a few others as well.

This past week my old college group of teammates lost a key member, Bill Cleland.  Not a star or pro like some of the names above.  I don’t believe he was ever a starter on our college team.  But there is something special and a close bond with teammates from the college years.  A bunch of Eighteen to twenty something year old boys on a team, in the trenches together.  The ups, downs, wins, the disappointments.  A special connection.  Bill was part of a George Mason University team in the early 1980’s that was unique.  Our team rose from average to excellent in just a couple of seasons.  We did have some difference makers on that team. Some top players who changed results.  And a bunch of good players.  However our results exceeded the sum of our parts, and it was one of my favorite all time team experiences.  

Bill was not one of those top players.  But he was one of the top personalities!  His humor and sarcasm fit right in with the knuckleheads (like me) in that group.  He practiced hard, got along with his teammates, competed hard for game minutes and produced what he could when called upon. He valued the minutes he got and wanted more.  Banged up or exhausted?  His attitude was “no problem, put me in!”  He contributed a lot to a team environment and team unity that resulted in our unexpected success. 

What makes a team successful?  Talent, coaching, organization, fitness and much more.  Team grit, personality and cohesion are also critical….and those elements are more art, than science.  Any opposing team scouting those early 1980’s GMU teams could describe our system of play, key influential players, etc. and develop a game plan to beat us.  Just one problem. They couldn’t beat us.  Bill and other players like him on successful teams play a key role and are part of a hidden asset. Team unity and cohesion can’t be measured in a scouting report.  I learned this in my career and understood it much better as I became a coach.  

Not too many years ago in Las Vegas, I had dinner with Bill.  Decades after our time at GMU, he was still on me about stuff!  Not passing him the ball enough (he says he would have scored more goals!), or he didn’t get enough game time, or me getting kicked out of practice (true), times I made life difficult for him (yes, also guilty), etc., etc.  Uh, Bill, can we finally move on!  Nope!  Those college memories were important to him.  He cherished that time, the guys, the camaraderie and being part of that team.  Old teammates can get together and for good or bad, they seem to just pick up wherever they left off! 

During Covid our core group from those years started having zoom calls to catchup and stay in touch.  Some lived in cities or states where things were shut down and even a zoom call was a social event!  Somehow, even in that group of characters, Bill was at the center of every conversation!  He may have had to take a back seat on the field to some of us, but he was not about to let that happen in those calls! 

Bill had a successful work career in business and management.  Didn’t surprise me.  He was smart, competitive, driven – and had personality.  You can learn a lot in competitive sports.  Our group from that team has a bunch of successful people in all sorts of areas (entrepreneurs, education, sales, technology, business, etc.) – strong or even star performers in whatever their career path has been.  It is no accident.

Parents, get your kids in sports before they get attached to a smart phone!  Let them learn some valuable life skills by navigating through competitive sports.  Don’t hover and intervene at every challenge they face.  Disappointment, losing, not playing enough and a few tears being shed are good.  Seriously!  Let them develop characteristics like grit, determination and the ability to work toward goals without a parent trying to solve every hurdle for them!   They will be better for it.

Bill did that.  He was not the star player.  But behind the scenes, maybe he was.  He was successful in life, a heck of a person and a great teammate. We are all better for knowing him.